Help Him Through the Valley of the Shadow of PTSD

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

 ¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
 ² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
 ³ he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
   for his name’s sake.
⁴ Even though I walk
   through the valley of the shadow of death,^[a]
I will fear no evil,
   for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
   they comfort me.

 ⁵ You prepare a table before me
   in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
   my cup overflows.
⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
   all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
   forever.

It’s the middle of the night.  The phone startles you from a deep sleep.  It’s your old army buddy and he’s whining about how his life sucks.  He's drunk and his wife kicked him out again and he can't seem to keep a job and it's always someone else's fault.  His doctor says he's got post traumatic stress disorder but the medications make him feel like a zombie.  He feels hopeless and friendless and no one will ever love him again because of what he did and what he went through.

It's about the twelfth time he's called you this month.

You want to scream into the phone, “Get over it!”

But you don’t. Because you know what he’s going through.  You’ve been there.  Your friend is wallowing in the middle of the Valley of the Shadow of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  He needs your help.  He can’t “get over it” -- he has to walk through the valley.  He can’t “shake it off” -- he has to walk through it.

So you take a deep breath and become his Drill Sarg. 

“Don’t think about it.  It’s in the past.  It can’t happen now.  You’re not there.  You are here.  See it for what it is – a memory of a horrible event.  Now take a step forward.”

“Don’t whine.  This is just a valley filled with shadows.  Take another step.  Walk on through.”

“Don’t ask why.  Knowing the reasons will not change the past.  Knowing why won’t instantly transport you from the valley to the mountain top.  Take a step.  The only way out of this valley is by putting one foot in front of the other. ”

Ask him questions to help him stay focused on the road ahead.

When he stumbles, point out the safer places to put his feet.

When he wallows, point to a patch of sunshine just ahead.

When he pauses to enjoy the light, share the joy with him.

If he falls, don’t let him drag you back with him.

Eventually, someone is going to desperately need your old buddy’s help to walk Through the Valley of the Shadow of PTSD.   And he can’t help until he is where you are now.

I know you can help him.

Dear Lord,

Anoint my head.  Prepare that table.  Lead me there.  Refresh me.  Guide me.  Comfort me.  Be my shepherd.  And teach me to help others.
Amen.

Been Through the Valley of the Shadow of PTSD

Genesis 19:17 (NIV)

 As soon as they had brought them out, one of them said, “Flee for your lives! Don’t look back, and don’t stop anywhere in the plain! Flee to the mountains or you will be swept away!” 

You haven’t had the nightmare in over a month.  You haven’t been blind-sided by an anxiety attack in two whole weeks.  And you actually have a little money in the bank.

You are climbing up the hill out of the valley of the shadow of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Take extra care of your footing.

Look ahead.

Enjoy the light.

As you climb a steep hill, it is too easy to slip and stumble back down.  Be careful where you place your feet.

Are you a mean drunk? Don’t drink.

Does the sound of gunfire set you off?  Don’t watch war movies or fireworks.

Do you think no one will ever love you because of who you are?  You’re not that person anymore.  You’ve climbed out of the valley, a new creature.  Stronger.  Wiser.  Better. 

Look ahead. 

You cannot climb by looking over your shoulder.  You have to keep your eyes on the path ahead of you.  Set goals:

Today I will…

Tomorrow I will …

Next year I will …

In ten years’ time, I will …

You can’t wallow on a hillside; you’ll only roll back down into the valley.  So don’t let yourself begin to wallow.  When you start to say or think phrases that begin with “If only…” or “I wish it hadn’t …” or “What if I had …” or “Why…” stop yourself.  Don’t let yourself finish that thought.  Think about the path ahead.

“Today I am…”

“Today I will…”

“Tomorrow I will…”

Enjoy the light.

In a deep valley surrounded by mountains, there is very little sunlight.  Everything is attached to shadows.  There are shadows on the hillside, too, but there is also wonderful light.  Enjoy it.  Take short breaks from your careful steps and your path ahead and feel the caress of light and fresh air again.  Notice that it is there.

Climbing up is so much harder than marching through.  But the view can be spectacular.  Enjoy it.

Once you’ve been Through the Valley of the Shadow of PTSD, life is still tough.  But it is also glorious.

I know you can take this hill.

Dear Father, let the words that I say, the actions I take, and the works I do keep me climbing upwards.  Amen.

When the World Says, "Been there, done that!:

Romans 13:11-12 (New International Version, ©2011)

The Day Is Near

 ¹¹ And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. ¹² The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.

There is comfort in familiatrity.

There is safety in doing things that are 'tried and true.'

And then there's that thin line between "secure" and "bored."  You don't realize you've crossed that line until you miss the passion of the experience.  Passion in comfort is called compassion.  Passion in safety is called refuge.  But there is no passion in boredom. 

You probably have the T-shirt, "Been there, done that."

Applied to most things in life, this phrase is humorus.  Applied to your spiritual path -- BIG NEON FLASHING PROBLEM!

If you no longer feel passionate about your spiritual path - DO SOMETHING!

Like any relationship, passion fades away if you attention wanes.  You've got to look at it a new way.  See it from a new angle.  You may need to make some changes in yourself to help impassion you again.

Remember when you woke up singing and went to sleep content that the earth was in God's Hands?  Remember when you prayed and your skin tingled and your heart near-burst with power?

Do you want to back or are you just going to wear the T-shirt (drab-gray, frayed at the collar, letters peeling...)

It's your choice.

When the World Says, "Been there, done that."

God says, "Wake up!"

Sweet Jesus, I miss the passion I had in my soul.  I just sort of let it slip away into normalcy and everydayness.  Wake me up, Lord.  Revive me.  Help empower me with your spirit and path and words and love.  Now and always, Lord, Amen.

When the World Says, "You just don't understand."

James 3:13-14 (New International Version, ©2011)

Two Kinds of Wisdom

 ¹³ Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. ¹⁴ But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.

"You just don't understand!" is usually said with one hand flung up -- palm out -- as if to push the listener away.  It's not usually said in the hopes of helping the listener to understand.  It's said as an accusation, as if the listener were at fault and somehow wrong because of their lack of understanding.

"You just don't understand!"

You're right -- I don't understand.  There are a lot of things I don't understand.  

I have often been told, "You're really smart."  I am. But that doesn't mean I understand everything -- or that I'm supposed to.

I am wise, though.  My wisdom comes from my life-experiences and deepens as I continue to live wrapped in God's loving arms.

Don't expect someone to understand what you've been through.  They're not going to have that knowledge nor will they have developed the same kind of wisdom you have.  

They shouldn't be expected to.

You want someone to understand you, though.  That's normal.  That's just.

Have you considered "showing" someone rather than "telling" someone?  Remember the saying "You could talk until you're blue in the face?"  How about "A picture is worth a thousand words." 

If you just can't get people to understand your words, maybe they are too busy watching your actions. 

When the world says, "You just don't understand."

God says, "Show me you understand by the way you live."

Teacher,
Teach me your ways.  Then help me live your ways.  As I'm living your ways, help me to teach others, not by the words of my mouth but by the actions of my life.  Let others understand your will by watching how I live.  Allow me to see that in others, too.  Amen.

When the World Says, "If you'd raised him right, he wouldn't be this way!"

Proverbs 22:6 (King James Version)

 ⁶Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

When someone goes through a trauma, one of the things he may do is separate himself from everything he used to be.  He abandons his family, walks away from  his job, changes his appearance, even eats different foods.  Everything that comforted him, supported him, loved him before the trauma only serves to remind him that he is changed. His innocence is lost, and so he puts away everything which reminds him of that life.

As a spouse, parent, or child of a person with PTSD, you have to make a choice - let him walk away (in the belief that one day, he'll come back) or fight him 'tooth and nail' to keep him in a role to which he no longer feels worthy of living.

If you keep him close after he has changed, understand why he has changed and do not force him or expect him to be who he used to be.

If you choose to go separate ways because he is too different from the man he used to be, never stop praying for him.

The always-answered prayer is "Let God's will be done in his life."  Pray it.  When the person you love most in the world becomes a stranger, pray this prayer.

I do, every night.

When the World Says, "If you'd raised him right, he wouldn't be this way!"

God says, "You raised him right.  He'll remember and and return to it one day."

Dear Lord,

Not my will but yours, God.  Not my wishes but your Wisdom, God.  Let your will be done in his life.   Amen.

When the World says, "It's not fair!"

Luke 22:19 (New International Version, ©2010)

 ¹⁹ And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.”

There are a lot of responses to the declaration, "It's not fair!"

-- You're right, it's not.

-- No one said it would be.

-- Suck it up, stop your whining.

-- Sure it's fair -- for me!

Leaders often rally support with promises of a fairer, brighter future.

Leaders often are deposed when these promises prove empty.

It's not fair.

Of every incident that led you here, how many were fair?  How many were equitable?  How many of them were based on where you were told to go?  How about on where you wanted to go?

Jesus' parents weren't married when he was born - that wasn't fair.  There wasn't room at the inn, so he had to be born in a grotto - and that wasn't fair. He had a whole bunch of half- and step-siblings and sometimes they weren't fair.  He worked hard all his life but never made a million dollars -- and that's not fair.  he was a brilliant speaker, but no one in his hometown appreciated him -- and that's not fair.  Thousands of people followed him around, constantly expectin him to teach and heal and feed them -- and that wasn't fair.  His best friend betrayed him to the authorities -- and that wasn't fair.  He was arrested, convicted, and put to death for a rumor that he might be King of the Jews.  That wasn't fair.

In all of his journey on Earth, he taught us to go beyond unfairness.  Look beyond your body.  Look beyond your blood.  Look beyond all the things that break and are broken.  Look to eternity.

That's where we will find fairness.

When the World says, "It's not fair!"

God says, "This is my body, broken for you."

Fairest Lord Jesus,

Things do break and fall apart.  Things just aren't fair.  But you know that, don't you, Lord?  Help me see beyond the wrong.  Help me see through the brokenness and hurt and inequities of life.  I know there will be justice in heaven.  Amen.

When the World says, "Homeless Veterans"

John 14:1-3

Jesus Comforts His Disciples

 ¹ “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. ² My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? ³ And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

Home.

What a magical word.

It engenders feelings, smells, sounds, visions, and emotions that make you feel good and safe.

For so many veterans, home is just a memory.  The number of homeless vets is staggering.  There are shelters for both male and female homeless vets.  But a shelter is not the same thing as a home.

Home is also a state of mind -- loyalty, camaraderie, rest and peace.  Some vets are homeless in this sense, too.

When you think of heaven, you think of home.  That's what Jesus promised -- a home for you.  A home that smells like Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings.  A home that feels like the softest sheets and snuggliest bed.  A home that looks clean and pleasing and fills you with pride.  A home filled with kind words, singing, and laughter.

Don't rush going home.  Rest in the assurance that home is waiting for you and will be everything you remembered and everything you hope for.

When the World says, "One out of four homeless Americans is a  veteran,"

God says, "In my house are many mansions.  There's a place for you."

Sweet heavenly Father,

Thank you.

Amen.

When the World says, "Live like you were dying."

John 3:16

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 

Each of us has had that turning point where we stop and declare "from now on, I'm not going to miss out anymore!"  It happened to me -- it happened to you.  There's even a terrific song and accompanying gift-book that support the attitude to live like you were dying.

I figure it took me 45 years to get to this realization.  I've thoroughly enjoyed the years since then.  I figure I have at least 40 more years left.

Fun.  Fun.  Fun.  Don't you wish it could go on forever?

It can.

If you believe in God, you will live forever.  Not your body; your soul.

We are eternal beings locked for less than a century in this body.

So, as you live day by day, live like you are eternal!!

When the World says, "Live like you were dying,"

God says, "You have eternal life."

Wow, God!  As I learn to fully live in this body during this lifetime, help me also to learn things that will help me through all eternity:  Grace, Joy, Hope, Love.  Amen

When the World Says, "You're on your own."

John 16:7
Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you.

            You've been on your own for a long time now, and you like it that way.  You were trained to be self-sufficient and you stand on your own two feet.

But as humans, we are social beings.  We do best in groups.  We like touching each other -- physically and emotionally.  We get lonely.
Even among a crowd, we feel all alone.  Lamentations 1:1 begins with "How lonely sits the city so full of people!"

Sometimes the loneliness is more than we can bear.

God knows this.  he created us to be social creatures.  He wants to be in touch with you all the time, so He sends His presence to abide, comfort, strengthen and encourage you.

When you are drowning in loneliness, open your heat and welcome God's Comforter.

When the World says, "You're on your own,"
God says, "I will send you a Comforter."

My Savior, you  know me - I do things by myself.  I'm proud of being able to survive when most other people wouldn't have.  But do I always have to be on my own?  Let me understand and acknowledge your presence.  Thank you for being with me.  I can do this on my own, but I'd much rather have You with me, comforting me, guiding me, supporting me.  In your name I pray, Amen.

 

When the World says, "You're disabled."

1 Samuel 16:7

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him.  The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

You were given a Purple Heart.  It's in the shoebox along with all the rest of the medals and ribbons.  

You were given a snappy little plastic thing you hang on your rear-view mirror that matches your car tag.

 You bristle when someone offers to help you through a doorway or into a seat or in the grocery store.  You bristle at their offers because they see you as "disabled."

That's a label.  Like red-head or preacher or homeless or star.  People tend to treat you a certain way when all they see is your label.

But God sees beyond the physical attributes.  God sees your heart.  He knows if your heart is healthy or dark.  That's what's important.

Not only does He see the heart of you, He will send people into your life who also see beyond the flesh and blood; beyond the labels.

Learn to recognize those people who see beyond your disability.

Become a person who sees beyond others' labels, too.

When the World says, "You're disabled."

God says, "I look at your heart."

Jesus, I look in the mirror and think about how the world sees me.  Thank you so much for not having such a limited vision.  You see my heart.  You hold my soul in your Hands.  Help others see me the way You see me.  Help me see others the way You see them.  Amen.

When the World says, "Big boys don't cry"

John 11:35

Jesus wept.

Who the hell came up with that stupid statement, "Big boys don't cry"?  And who is hardened enough to perpetuate this belief?

Well, obviously, a lot of people.  This generation - for all its enlightenment - tends to hold its emotions tightly sealed behind masks of pseudo-happiness.  It's embarrassing to laugh (joyfully) too loud.  It's civilized to keep your temper.  Honesty must always be couched in socially-acceptable terms.  Sorrow, grief, and mourning are consigned to the funeral home and graveside only.

The truth is - if we ever opened up and cried or laughed or sang or danced - we might never stop.

Don't cry but don't smile too much either.

Don't be depressed but don't be too happy either.

This world is so stupid sometimes.

Tears chemically detoxify your body.  Ever notice?

Jesus knew this.  Jesus cried.

If it is OK for Jesus to do something, surely it's OK for us to cry.  

Let sorrow and grief and pain exude from your body in each tear.

Weep.

When the world says, "Big boys don't cry,"

God says, "Jesus wept."

My God, my heart is broken.  My heart is broken.  My heart is broken.  Heal me.  Please, God.  Wash away this agony with my tears.  Let me weep like Jesus wept.  Only then can my heart be healed.  Amen.

When the world says, "Killing is unforgivable"

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Nicodemus the Haggiorite said that there are seven classifications of sin:

Pardonable

Near the Pardonable

Non-Mortal

Near the Non-Mortal

Between the Mortal and the Non-Mortal

Near the Mortal

Mortal

Each sin should be conditional according to

1.      Who is the doer of the sin

2.     What sin was committed

3.     Why was the sin committed

4.     In what manner was the sin committed

5.     At what time/age was the sin committed

6.     Where was the sin committed

7.     How many times was the sin committed

Well, that sure is clear.  Right?

Here’s some more lists to help. 

A Pardonable Sin is the same thing as a Deadly Sin.  It’s a “sin of excess” which causes the sinner to sin even more and weakens the tie between the sinner and God.

Anger

Greed

Sloth (more precisely – failure to utilize talents and gifts)

Pride

Lust

Envy

Gluttony

That leaves the Mortal Sins.  They ‘threaten eternal damnation’ because, rather than just weakening the tie between the sinner and God, it severs the tie. 

Breaking any of the Ten Commandments can be considered a Mortal Sin.

Yikes.

I like how Proverbs describes the things that God hates by body parts:

Proud look (eyes)

Lying tongue (mouth)

Hands that shed innocent blood (hands)

Heart that devises wicked plots (heart or mind)

Feet that are swift to run into mischief (feet)

A deceitful witness that utters lies (combination of eyes and mouth)

Him that soweth discord among brothers (hands)

No where does it say that any sin is unforgivable.  NO WHERE.

Confess your sins.

Repent of them.

Ask God to forgive you for these sins.

It’s that simple.

When the world says, "Killing is unforgivable,"
God says, "He who confesses his sins is forgiven."

.

I look in the mirror, Lord, and I can't stand what I see!  I am so sorry!  I know it had to be done for my country, for my fellow soldiers.  But sometimes I just hate myself.   Help me..  I know there may be repercussions for what I did; let me face those as bravely as I faced battle. Forgive me.  Wash me clean.  Take this guilt away from me.  Make me whole again.  
Amen.

When the world says, "Sh^t happens"

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

There is a time for everything,

And a season for every activity under heaven:

A time to be born and a time to die,

A time to plant and a time to uproot,

A time to kill and a time to heal,

A time to tear down and a time to build,

A time to weep and a time to laugh,

A time to mourn and a time to dance,

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

A time to embrace and a time to refrain,

A time to search and a time to give up,

A time to keep and a time to throw away

A time to tear and a time to mend,

A time to be silent and a time to speak,

A time to love and a time to hate,

A time for war and a time for peace.

Yep.

When the world says, "Sh^t happens,"

God says, "There's a time for everything."
.

God, it’s really hard right now.  I don’t know that I can do this.  Please, sweet Jesus, give me the strength I need to face what lies ahead.  Everything was so easy just yesterday!  I trust that things will be easier in a little while.  Just don’t let me stop loving You.  Don’t let me stop serving You.  It is so tough right now.  But You are my strength.  I know You will see me through.  Thank you.  Amen.

When the world says, "I'm alone. I'm all alone."

Genesis 28:15 (New International Version, ©2011)

¹⁵ I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”

You're not alone.  There are people all around you.  This planet is swarming with people.  Even if you live thousands of miles from the nearest human, you have contact with people via technology.

However, being surrounded by, or even being shoulder to shoulder with people, you can feel alone.

Loneliness. 

It's like a cancer creeping in slowly, cell by cell until it engulfs you and nothing can heal it.

Sometimes it's easier to shove people away than risk them rejecting you.

Being alone can be a choice.  \

Being lonely can be a choice, too.

But the reality is that you are not alone.  God is with you.  He promised He'd never leave you.  You can ignore Him like you do other friends and families.  But He's not going away.  Even if you don't acknowledge His presence, He's still beside you.

He's not going to leave you alone.  He's not going to leave you lonely.

He promises.

When the world says, "I'm alone.  I'm all alone."
God says, "No you're not.  I'm right here.  I won't leave you."

.

Dear Jesus,
Sometimes, especially when it is quiet around me, I feel so alone.  Sometimes, when something wonderful happens, I look around to share it with a friendly face, and there's no one there.  
Wrap your arms around me, Lord.  Lift this loneliness from my heart.  Thank you for never leaving me.

  Amen.

When the World says, "These drugs will take an edge off your depression."

Jeremiah 31:13 (New International Version, ©2010)

¹³ Then young women will dance and be glad,
   young men and old as well.
I will turn their mourning into gladness;
   I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.

Anti-depressants are the most widely prescribed drugs in the US today. Everyone goes through ‘doors of despair’ and ‘bubbles of grief’.  Sometimes properly prescribed anti-depressants can help you walk through these horrible times.

One of my favorite songs is “It Won’t Rain Always.”  No one is a stranger to sorrow.  It is a normal part of being alive.  You need to experience it; embrace it; feel the scope and sequence of it; and release it and go on with your life.  Once you intimately know sorrow, grief, and despair, you become stronger.  You realize it does not last forever.  It passes naturally and then you can be filled with gladness.

When the world says, "These drugs will take an edge off your depression,"

God says, "I will turn your mourning into gladness."

Heavenly Father, there isn't a part of me that doesn't hurt.  Everything aches, everything weeps, everything sobs in the darkness of my heart.  If I could just make it all go away, nothingness would be better than this.  But you whisper to me in my grief that all this blackness will be changed into glory.  I'll be happy again.  I'll smile and the smile will feel good and someone will love me again.  You'll do this for me, God, I know you will.  I trust you.  As dark as it is now, you will make it light.   You'll turn this mourning into gladness.  Amen.

When the World Says, "You can't teach an old dog new trick"

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, that person is a new creation. The old has gone, the new is here!

When a soldier is subjected to trauma, the soldier's brain tissues thicken.  The thicker the brain tissue, the less able it is to learn and adapt to new situations.  So the way a soldier reacts to the traumatic situation is (supposedly) the way the soldier will react to any similar situation, since the brain can no longer learn a new way to deal with it.

Well, seems to me, if something changes a brain, then the brain can be changed again.  Right?

Stroke victims retrain their body parts to function.  Athletes change their muscles and their mental acuity.  It may take a little more effort, or a new strategy, but brains are brains.  If one thing changes it, another thing can change it, as well.  

I'm not saying the brain will go back the way it used to be.  Nothing goes back to the way it used to be.  But you can be a new creature. 

There are many different strategies available to help change the way you react when you live with post-traumatic stress disorder. A popular one now is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.  Recognizing when your body is reacting due to PTSD rather than rationalizing the present situation is vital to finding new ways to react.  Opening up to and training family and friends about your condition is also very important.  Never use it as an excuse for your actions, though. You are not an old dog.  You are still in charge of your body and your mind.  Keep yourself out of situations that you will not be able to handle. Seek out help.  If you are not improving by using one method, find a new one.  What works for one person may not work for another.  

When the world says, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks," 

God says, "Behold, I make all things new."

God, it's happening again.  My face is clammy, my heart is racing, my stomach is in knots and I'm going to throw up.  I'm not even sure what set it off this time, but I think it was someone's perfume.  Smelled of almonds and that made me think of C-4 and that made me remember.  And God, you know what happens when I remember that time.  So now God, I've admitted to you why my body is reacting.  I can take a calming breath now.  I can wiggle my toes and unclench my jaw.  Now that I know it was just something here and now, I can relax.  I can remember I'm here and now.  I'm in a new place.  I am a new person.  In you, Christ, I have become someone that isn't terrified all the time.  In you, Christ, I have become someone that isn't angry all the time.  In you, Christ, I have become someone I like again.  Someone new.  Amen.

When the World Says, "I can't help you."

Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

   ²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” 

 

Probably three out of ten of the letters I get from veterans say about the same thing: "No one will help me."

Veterans face the same battles as civilians -- finances, health, family, employment.  But veterans sometimes are more prone to nightmares, homelessness, debilitating anxiety, loss of friendship, physical, emotional and psychological wounds and the subsequent disabilitiess.

The world (in the guise of the VA, the church, the community, and sometimes even friends and family) seem unable or unwilling to help.  

Jesus said to give Him your burdens.  He promises to give you rest.  When was the last time you slept through the night?  Let Him carry your burdens until you can get back on your feet.  Trust Him to help you.  Trust Him to place the right people and assistance in your path to see you through.

No, the world can't help.  But God can.

When the World says, "I can't help you,"
God says, "Give me your burdens."

Carry my pack for me, Jesus.  Take this burden away from me.  I'm bent double by its load.  When you place people in my path to help, don't let me shove them aside.  Teach me to lean on you.  I don't have to be strong all the time.  I don't have to do this by myself.  Here, Lord, are my burdens.  Amen.

When the World Says, “Will this nightmare ever end?”

Psalm 91:4-6 (King James Version)

 ⁴He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.

 ⁵Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;

 ⁶Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.

One of the side-effects or symptoms of PTSD is night terrors.  They can happen waking or sleeping.  They take over all five senses:  sight, hearing, smell, tactile and taste.  They are different from dreams or nightmares in their intensity and the inability of the dreamer to awaken.

Even awake, the physical effects of the night terrors linger – lethargy, irritability, emotionalism, lack of focus, over-excitability and unfiltered startle reflex. 

These effects worsen under certain conditions (drug and alcohol use, exhaustion, financial turmoil, etc.)

Eventually, the dreamer begins to ask, “Will this nightmare ever end?”  Sometimes they feel there is only one way to end it. 

God promises that the nightmares will end.  He promises that you will not have to be afraid of falling asleep anymore.  Hold that promise.  Believe that promise.  Wait for it.  The nightmares will end.  God said so. 

When the World says, “Will this nightmare ever end?”

God says, “Don’t be afraid of the nightmares.”

Dearest Father, 

Now I lay me down to sleep, 

As the terrors round me creep.

Hide me 'neath your loving wings,

Let me rest til morning sings.

Amen

When the World Says, “Those were the days!”

Isaiah 40:7-9 (New International Version, ©2010)

⁷ The grass withers and the flowers fall,
   because the breath of the LORD blows on them.
   Surely the people are grass.
⁸ The grass withers and the flowers fall,
   but the word of our God endures forever.”

 ⁹ You who bring good news to Zion,
   go up on a high mountain.
You who bring good news to Jerusalem,^[a]
   lift up your voice with a shout,
lift it up, do not be afraid;
   say to the towns of Judah,
   “Here is your God!”

Is there anything more boring than listening to an old person talk about how wonderful life USED to be?  How about when someone describes an event from half a century ago in meticulous detail, but can’t tell you one good thing that happened this week.

“Those were the days!” the world declares.  Yep: WERE.  Past tense.

Live now.

Enjoy now. 

Praise now.

Celebrate now.

The past is gone.  It’s nice to remember – if you learned from the experiences and pass on that knowledge.

But Be Alive Now.

When the World Says, "Those were the days!"
God says, "the word of our God endures forever."

Sweet Jesus,

I have about a century to live on this Earth in this body.  Let me not waste the time wishing for yesterday.  Let me make each day a “Glory Day!”  Stop these words from crossing my lips: If only.  What if.  I wish it could have been…  Let me shout “Here is your God!”  Let me be alive with every breath.

Amen

Walking Through the Valley of the Shadow of PTSD

Romans 8:18

  I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

A traumatic event – whether it was emotional, physical or spiritual – stops you in that point of time and life.  Like a falcon on the wind, it tethers you to the ground. Like Peter Pan’s shadow, the darkness cast by the event takes on a life of its own.

We call this shadow Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Clinging to this shadow is the stench of death, the betrayal of friends, and the loss of family.  You seem to carry it with you no matter where you go.  Its darkness taints every relationship and bleeds the very color out of life.

How do you get through this?

By putting one foot in front of the other.

You got through the trauma, whatever it was.  It’s in the past.  Done with.  Now you are walking through its shadow.

It is only a shadow.  Yes, it has very real physical effects: nightmares, anxiety attacks, irritable bowel syndrome, rashes, twitches, and sudden rages.  But you can get through this.  One step at a time. 

There are things you choose to do which can worsen the effects; all of which are actually forms of self-punishment: alcohol and substance abuse, dangerous sexual alliances, loosing control of your emotions, gambling, running away.  These punishments will only prolong your journey in the darkness. 

Do you remember the endless marches and drills of boot camp – mind-numbing, physically exhausting, and seemingly without purpose?  Your Sarg kept you going by yelling, “Don’t think.  Don’t whine.  Don’t ask why.  Just march.”  And he got you through.  You became something greater than you once were.  You became a soldier.

You have a long march ahead of you through the valley of the shadow of PTSD.  Be your own Drill Sarg and force yourself to put one foot in front of the other. 

Don’t think.  Don’t whine.  Don’t ask why.  Just march.

And don’t ever give up.

Do you remember when your march was the hardest?  It was when you were climbing a hill.  But know that where the hill begins, the valley ends.

Once you finish this walk Through the Valley of the Shadow of PTSD, you become something greater than you once were.

You can do this.

Dear Master,

Help us to see beyond the everyday steps to the glory you have provided for us.  And for those times when we are blinded by impatience, help us to just trust you to place our feet where You want them to go.  Help us to live day by day, step by step, and march through this valley. Amen.