Beautiful Oleg and Ugly Amanita
Leader:So Oleg climbed through the oak’s sprawling branches.
Chorus: do the accompanying action
Leader:And Oleg pulled himself through the banyans’ legs.
Chorus: do the accompanying action
Leader:And Oleg leaped through the leafy canopy.
Chorus: do the accompanying action
Leader:Until he came upon a compound in the forest. There was a tree house there now, and beside the tree house was a corral. The corral was thick with flaming bougainvillea canes and grew directly from the ground up and around in a huge circle.
Chorus:A flaming thorny circle, thought Oleg.
Leader:A flaming thorny circle, thought Oleg.What a brilliant idea.This rancher must be the smartest rancher on all Orchidea!
Oy!Ugly Amanita! It is I, Beautiful Oleg.I have traveled through the sprawling oaks.
Chorus: do the accompanying action
Leader:And crawled through the banyans’ legs
Chorus: do the accompanying action
Leader:and leapt across the leafy canopy.
Chorus: do the accompanying action
Leader:And now I see before me the flaming thorny circle, where I last saw my oolong, Fluffy.Oy! Ugly Amanita, I want my sire back!
From far above Oleg came a voice, “It’ll cost you.
I don’t have any money.
Chorus:I don’t want your money.
Leader:I only have four hen-oolongs left.
Chorus:I have four-hundred hens, I don’t need yours.
Leader:Then what do you want?
Chorus:I want children!
Leader:Then go and get you some, says Oleg.
Don’t you remember the last time you came here?I need a husband to have children, and I am too ugly to entice a husband.
That’s alright, I’m beautiful enough for the both of us.
From far above him, the voice called again, You don’t remember how ugly I am, do you?
Chorus:Ummmmmm.
Leader:No, Ugly Amanita, I remember you were ugly, not how very ugly you were.I tend to forget things, says Oleg.
From far above in the tree house, Ugly Amanita said, Take your sire and go, Beautiful Oleg.For you may give me beautiful children, but they would be the stupidest children on all Orchidea, and I couldn’t bare that.
Oleg ran out of the compound.
Chorus: do the accompanying action
Leader: And Oleg leaped through the leafy canopy
Chorus: do the accompanying action
Leader:And Oleg pulled himself through the banyans’ legs.
Chorus: do the accompanying action
Leader:And Oleg climbed through the oak’s sprawling branches.
Chorus: do the accompanying action
Leader:And Beautiful Oleg made it safely home.
Chorus: do the accompanying action
Leader:But Oleg the Beautiful’s sire was worn out from his years in the Ugly Amanita’s flaming thorny circle, so his herds didn’t increase all that much.But more than anything else-
Chorus:Oleg was too stupid to have children!
Leader:And Baffle the Butt-face but Brilliant ‘longer married Ugly Amanita and they had ugly but smart children.
Leader and Chorus: And we’re their descendents!
Songs and Stories from A Filker’s Companion to Bedina’s War
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